Reflection, Sister Maria DiBello, RSM
He puts his cheek against mine
and makes small, expressive sounds.
And when I’m awake, or awake enough
he turns upside down, his four paws
in the air
and his eyes dark and fervent.
Tell me you love me, he says.
Tell me again.
Could there be a sweeter arrangement?
Over and over
he gets to ask it.
I get to tell.
Midas, Cranaleith’s gentle golden retriever, died during the winter. Over 11 years, he had become an icon of the grace shared here. Wordlessly, he told the story of so many guests he greeted with irrepressible joy.
James had been incarcerated since he was a teenager, and came here for Cranaleith’s Thursday ecotherapy program. His demeanor was drained of affect, his eyes empty of light. Midas’ own face, palsied into a lopsided and perpetually loopy grin, reflected James’ gradual openness to trust and delight. His kind eyes held the unconditional acceptance James began to find…the “at homeness” in God’s presence that was free enough to play or to rest, content to be alone or to revel in a circle of belonging.
Hazel’s intellectual disability and substance abuse had marked her sense of herself as unloved and unlovable. To Midas, each person who came near was utterly perfect, a gift to be cherished with shameless affection. One retreat day, Hazel found this wisdom for herself. She was “communing” with a magnificent flower, “listening” to what it might say to her. Shyly, she reported, “it told me I was beautiful, too.”
Laverne arrived with the staff of a shelter for homeless families. Overwhelmed by her own recovery from trauma and the suffering of those in her care, her compassion and hope were strained to the breaking point. Midas’ unabashed transparency to his own needs seemed to draw him to our guests who were most vulnerable. He simply sat with them. On her retreat day, Laverne said she recognized in a new way that she wasn’t alone…that she had companions on the journey and strength in her soul. She learned that she could find a safe space to breathe and to heal. She found that she could breathe that peace to others.
Sam was typical of the countless seekers who are drawn here with their “dragging burdens of longing.” They ask to reconnect to the Mystery that guides their path, to the dream that stirs their hearts. Each day, Midas mirrored Sam’s discovery of Rumi’s wisdom. “Something opens our wings. Something makes boredom and hurt disappear. Someone fills the cup in front of us. We taste only sacredness.”
Midas’ legacy to us was an exuberant gratitude for the wonder of life and the treasure of our love. In return, his touch was tender and true, offering faithful devotion, forgiveness and patience. Midas witnessed the transforming love poured on the chasms within us and between us. He turned our lives to gold.
Love, love, love. And run as fast as you can
along the shining beach, or the rubble, or the dust.
Then, go to sleep.
Give up your body heat, your beating heart.
Then, trust.
Mary Oliver
